The Eve of Leaving

It’s been rough since the movers came.

Between the stress of being displaced from our home, and trying to run errands almost every day, it’s made for some interesting sleeps. I’ve had more nightmares in the past week than I can remember ever having consecutively.

Our weirdly clean and empty apartment, post-movers.

I’ve become very good at pushing my emotions down until I am alone. I didn’t cry on the last day of work, despite a lovely and sweet send-off from my bosses and coworkers. I didn’t cry at the last get together with some childhood friends. I didn’t cry at my last lunch with my brother. I didn’t cry when I saw my bestie for the last time this afternoon.

But yesterday, driving back to my sister-in-law’s place (where we’ve been staying during our last week+ of limbo), I broke down and bawled. Full on, driving through the freezing cold, sobbing my guts out. Yesterday was my last day at my job, working for an amazing company. I haven’t been unemployed since I was sixteen, and the constant inquiries as to what work I have or haven’t lined up yet suddenly felt like an oppressive weight on my chest. Continue reading “The Eve of Leaving”